Humility Part 2: The Foundation Of Growth, Creativity, And Curiosity
This is the second part of a 3-part series on Humility. In the first part, I discussed the nature of pride, shame, and humility. This article continues the series by further defining what humility looks like, and exploring some of the advantages of living humbly.
Through writing this blog, I've become increasingly aware of the necessity of my own humility when sharing my thoughts. This is particularly true the more I dive into deeper topics. It's one thing to write about productivity and technology, it's another thing to write about philosophy and my own beliefs. If I take myself too seriously when I'm writing, it can result in a need for perfection before I publish. It effectively paralyzes me. As I begin to put more of myself out for the world to read, I realize how much my self-worth can be wrapped up in the quality of my work. Choosing to set my worth based on this sets me up to fail over and over again.
What I've discovered is that when I'm willing to set aside my desire for perfection, I'm able to write and publish without the infinite loop of self-criticism and doubt that I've written about in an earlier post.
Seeking humility doesn't mean that I don't pursue quality in my writing, but it means that my self-worth is not determined by my competence.
Humility Is Realizing And Admitting Your Own Limitations
In the previous article of this series, I wrote about two modes of pride that people will gravitate towards in an effort towards avoiding shame and find validation and self-worth.
The first is to live ignoring their shortcomings and failures, believing that they are effectively infallible and without error. These people can come across as being overly confident, laser-driven, and very ambitious. They demonstrate the characteristics that most people think of when they think of arrogance.
The second mode is the act of comparison to others. People are able to find self-validation as long as they are at a higher level of superiority than the people around them. This can take the form of exalting self but is more commonly accomplished by bringing others down.
The problem with both modes of pride is that neither option allows someone to see reality for what it is. Both attempt to twist the state of reality so that someone doesn't have to look at their own weaknesses.
I believe one of the most powerful ways to demonstrate humility is by being willing to admit when we're wrong. This is because it effectively nails shut the coffin of our desire to twist reality into a lie. When we are able to admit that we were wrong to ourselves and to those around us, we effectively nullify any attempt at self-validation through action. In other words, it is proof that our self-worth is not tied to our perceived virtue.
Kathryn Schulz shares an excellent presentation in this video about the value of being wrong. I would highly recommend taking some time to watch it.
Humility is also about becoming aware of and accepting the state of reality. To be humble means that you are aware of the true state of yourself and those around you. While we may be quick to be aware of other's shortcomings, being truly humble also means being aware of your own.
Much research has been done that has come to the conclusion that humble people have an accurate view of their strengths and weaknesses. In psychology, this is called Self-Knowledge. People can have Self-Knowledge and still be arrogant, but Self-Knowledge is a key trait that is found within people that demonstrate humility.
Humans are by nature finite. We are unable to know everything there is to know. Nor are we able to know it perfectly. We are neither omniscient nor are we perfect. Being humble means having enough self-knowledge to affirm these limitations. To think otherwise leads to a belief that learning is no longer required. To believe that learning is no longer required means that curiosity is pointless.
If we choose to ignore our imperfections, we cannot improve ourselves for the better.
When we are open to the possibility that we are wrong, it opens up a world of opportunity before us.
Creativity and Divergent Thinking
Creativity is the tendency to generate and recognize alternative ideas that may prove useful in solving problems, communicating, or observing the world. This means that creativity is predicated on the idea that there are things to be discovered outside of what is already known. This realization is the basis by which we experience curiosity. Our acceptance of things that are unknown is the gateway by which we are able to cultivate curiosity and creativity.
Without the realization that we don't have the answers to everything, there is no way for us to even engage in the possibility of alternative thinking or ideas.
When you are able to cultivate humility, there is a sense of freedom you are able to enjoy. It's a freedom from thinking too highly of yourself. Freedom to make mistakes. Freedom to not always be right. Humility gives you the permission to be curious and creative.
Humility will manifest a growth mindset which will naturally lead to creativity and curiosity.
Creativity is dependent on Divergent Thinking. Divergent thinking is a mode of thinking that moves away (or diverges) in different directions. It takes a central "stimulus" and provides new ideas and solutions generated from it. In other words, it's the process of coming up with ideas and questions when presented with a piece of information. A key to cultivating this mindset is not worrying about the rightness of the answers. It is about asking questions and going through the process of discovery.
Divergent thinking can only thrive in an environment where there is no judgment of the quality of the idea. This is why it is good practice in the business world to separate the practice of brainstorming from evaluating feasibility. While both actions are necessary, they take two different modes of thinking.
One of the problems with our society is that the education system is built on the foundation of rewarding convergent thinking and punishing divergent thinking. Instead of allowing children to discover the world around them by making mistakes, test-taking by nature is teaching them that to be successful, you just need to know the right answer.
The truth is that the qualities of curiosity and creative thinking are far more valuable in today's society than convergent thinking. Nine times out of ten there is not a single right answer to something, and there is nearly always some way to improve what is currently being done. Progress happens when people experiment and try new things.
Every Person Has Something To Teach You
Another aspect of self-knowledge is understanding that everyone else is not limited in exactly the same ways as you are. Each person has unique experiences, strengths, and weaknesses.
The phrase that rings in my ear every time I talk with someone, particularly someone that I don't agree with is this:
Every person on earth has something they can teach you.
This is one of the most important concepts for me to remember as I seek to embody humility. Realizing that no matter how wrong a person seems to be in their conclusions, I can still learn something from them. It might be from their thought process, it might be in a particular interpretation. Regardless of where it is, I want to be able to go into every conversation remembering that the person, or people that I'm interacting with, have something they can teach me if I listen.
As I eluded to above, the true value of this concept comes when I'm listening to someone that I don't agree with. When we are presented with information that contradicts what we currently understand, we have the following options:
- Determine if my understanding is incorrect
- Determine if the person I'm talking to is incorrect
Both of these options should be considered, however, I believe we have a tendency to select the later option and forget about the first one. We do this because the second one is easier, while the first one is more difficult.
The first option takes effort and careful self-examination. It's hard! The second one is a lot easier because you are able to examine someone else without the need to evaluate your ability to perceive and understand the world.
As Kathryn Schulz mentions in her presentation, If we conclude that the other person is incorrect and that we are completely correct in our understanding it will lead us down the following path of assumptions:
First Assumption: That the person we are talking to doesn't have all the facts. (They are ignorant)
Second Assumption: That their cognitive ability doesn't allow them to understand the facts. (They are stupid)
Third Assumption: That they are evil and are choosing to not accept the facts for nefarious reasons. (They are malevolent)
While it is possible that people we are talking to may have any one of these characteristics, the problem is that we have the tendency to assume. Even worse, We often use these assumptions as a coping mechanism because we don't want to consider the first option that we might be wrong.
Instead of doing the hard work of self-examination, we will quickly assume the worst in people, that they are ignorant, stupid, or evil. True humility examines one's self first, before examining someone else.
"Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." - Matthew 7:3-5
"The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge" - Stephen Hawking
Our job should not be just to fix everybody around us. Our job should be to fix ourselves, and by so doing be able to clearly see and articulate the things that are broken outside of us.
In the final part of this series, I'm going to be discussing how humility is protection against falling into harmful beliefs. These beliefs can be religious, societal, or personal. There are many places where we can let pride lead us down a dangerous and destructive path. By embracing our limitations, and looking at reality for what it truly is rather than what we want it to be, we can protect ourselves against these ideologies.
Until next time.
Be Humble. Stay Curious.
-Josh